The Baby Excuse
You will notice that when you have a baby, people will react to you differently. All of a sudden you will find yourself at the center of attention. People are lots nicer to you. Women will not see you as predator, and men will not see you as any competition. You will simply be as harmless as a little bird. Many men will not like this stigma, and try to be manly so they don’t look like a chump. But you need to learn to take advantage of your new found liability. Using the baby as a negotiating tactic is highly acceptable and needs to be practiced. However, if you wan to use the baby for its full advantage, make sure that she is clean, smells good, has been properly dressed, and awake. Maximum cuteness is what you are trying to acclaim.
Take the Baby to the Game- if your seats are in the nosebleed section, tell the usher that it is the babies first time at the game and you want them be able to see all the action. They would have to have heart of coal not to give you better seats.
Picking up Ladies- If you are a single dad, having a baby will exponentially increase you chances of getting a lady, the hardest thing that you will have to do is choose which one of the ladies you want. Sometimes you will need to beat them away with a stick. If you are a married dad, loan the baby to your single friend. He will be thankful and get more dates than he can handle. He will also owe you big time. Stay close by, but not too close.
Taking a Day Off Work- There is no better excuse to take a day off of work, like you cant find a sitter, or the babies got a cold. No boss can deny you this luxury… I think there is actually a law against it.
